Please Don't Let It Be Me
by Calissa.Drey
Summary: The bat slowly dropped down in front of Daryl's face. The sight of the barbed wire wrapped tightly around it was an unpleasant feeling. But, that mixed with the sound of panic filled breath being emitted from his friends caused Daryl's heart to pound so hard he could feel the thudding in his ears. - Caryl.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

 **A/N: This does not contain spoilers for the season 7 premiere.**

The bat slowly dropped down in front of Daryl's face. The sight of the barbed wire wrapped tightly around it was an unpleasant feeling. But, that mixed with the sound of panic filled breath being emitted from his friends caused Daryl's heart to pound so hard he could feel the thudding in his ears. As it inched closer to his skin, he could smell a faint trace of blood.

Negan looked down at him, locking eyes. Daryl glared at him defiantly, although he knew that he looked like death already. His complexion was pale, he was starting to feel cold all over, and his gunshot wound from Dwight was still bleeding rather heavily. Negan said he wanted workers, people that could help benefit him, and Daryl certainly didn't seem like he fit the part.

Daryl flickered his eyes away from Negan and stared at the weapon in front of him. Suddenly, a single thought engulfed his mind.

 _Please don't let it be me._

He knew it was selfish. These people were his friends, and some of them he would dare to call his family. He should want to die for them. He should want to be the hero, the one who jumps in front of them all and saves them from this atrocious fate. A few days ago, he might have done just that. But ever since that last run with Rosita and Denise…

Denise's final words left a chill down his spine. Everything she said was true. Daryl could go out on a run and face life threatening situations. He could kill herds of walkers, take on evil and corrupt people without blinking an eye, but he couldn't confront his feelings. He hid behind a rough demeanor and harsh words, pushing everyone away. He probably would have succeeded too, if it weren't for _Carol._

She refused to let him pull away. She always made an effort to include him, even back in Atlanta. The two of them had an understanding of each other that no one else would ever be able to comprehend. They were victims of abuse and they knew what it was like to have physical and mental scars from someone you loved.

It was an instant attraction for Daryl. He found himself gravitating around Carol, always feeling the need to be close. At first, he wasn't exactly sure what his feelings were, other than he knew that Carol was the person he was going to look out for. Her love for Sophia was something that Daryl craved to see. He simply reveled in watching her look after her daughter. He assumed it was because he had rarely seen such a strong bond between a mother and her child.

He originally thought Carol was weak for being with a man like Ed. He thought she was just another idiot like his mother, allowing a man to take advantage of her. But, after he saw Carol stand up for Sophia, he knew that Carol was stronger than she realized. While his mother never stood up for him, this woman would protect the things she loved. The only thing that bothered Daryl about this realization, however, was that it meant Carol didn't love herself.

She was selfless, and she proved to be time and time again. Even after the death of Sophia, she was constantly thinking of others. She was emotionally spent, yet she kept on going. When it was revealed that Lori was pregnant, he expected it to break Carol and push her backwards in her stage of grief. To his surprise, it had the adverse effect, giving Carol a goal to set her mind on.

It was rough on the road. There was little food or shelter. Yet, in this moment before potential death, Daryl remembered all the little moments he and Carol shared as their friendship grew. The cold nights when there was limited room, and the only person he would consider sharing space with was her. When Daryl would give half his portion of food to Carol because she was looking frail and had given up her own portion to someone else. The day when she came to him, her blue eyes darting nervously, and asked him to teach her how to shoot.

Daryl watched as the bat moved away from his face and went to the person next to him.

 _Don't let it be me._

When the group came across the prison, it seemed like a safe haven. Yet, that was the place he almost lost her. The walkers were everywhere, and when he found her hair wrap, the whole world froze. He was beside himself. He was an empty shell for days. No one knew what to say to him.

Then, when he found her, weak and dehydrated deep within the prison halls, he realized that he couldn't be without her. He also realized how dangerous his feelings were becoming. That was the main reason he left with Merle. He didn't want Carol to become his weakness.

It was a realization he had too late. Carol consumed his thoughts. He returned shortly after, and in time, the pair had grown almost inseparable. Every time Daryl came back from a run, his first words where asking about her. The whole group knew that they had a special relationship. Although they weren't intimate, Carol was _his_ person.

Events flashed through Daryl's mind. He remembered the anger he felt when he learned that Carol had been cast away from the group. He remembered wondering how he was going to find her and if he would ever see her again. He spent night after night hoping that she was still alive.

When he finally saw her after terminus, holding his crossbow with a weary look on her face, Daryl couldn't remember feeling happier in his whole life. He clung to Carol, holding her so tight he was sure it was almost painful for her. He wasn't much for physical contact, but Carol often brought out things in Daryl that he wasn't use to. In that moment, he could have held onto her forever.

Carol wasn't the same after that. She was breaking on the inside. It was as if everything that had happened was finally catching up to her. Daryl tried to get her top open up, but she wouldn't budge.

 _I should have tried harder. She needed me. She was always there for me, and I wasn't there for her._

She was struggling so much in Alexandria. She was pretending to be someone she wasn't. So many terrible things had happened in the past few weeks and Daryl was feeling so dejected with himself. He could feel him and Carol drifting apart. They were both trying to find themselves again and they both happened to want to do it on their own.

Denise's final haunting words floated back to him.

He could no longer be afraid.

He could not miss another chance.

He knew how he felt about Carol, but _she_ didn't know how he felt about her. He bottled everything up and he couldn't blame her for finally pulling away. She felt guilty and unwanted, and he had to remind her that she was not only wanted, but _needed_.

Daryl had to get back to Alexandria and tell her how he felt. He had to live through this. Today, he would have to be a coward. He would sit back and watch one of his friends take the heat. He would sit back and hope it wasn't him.

He needed to be okay for Carol.

As the bat rounded the group and made its way back to Daryl, he found himself thinking the same thought;

 _Please don't let it be me._


End file.
